introduction of “Fathergood”, available may 2026.

Some kids dreamed of being President one day… or maybe an astronaut or firefighter or Professional Athlete. Did I share some of those aspirations? Of course, but more than anything I just wanted to be a husband and father. 

So here I am mid to late twenties and truly living the dream as husband to a really sweet girl named Aspyn Lee and a dad to the two most adventurous little boys, Shepherd Thomas and Banner Banks. 

When it comes to adulting; there were plenty of resources out there for business, finance, health, and other practical things I needed to learn along the way but when it came to being a young husband and dad, there were little resources in comparison… especially from father’s in the thick of it. Makes sense though right? Who has time to write a book when they are trying to survive ;) In all seriousness, I’m just saying I get it, but there was a gap and so I wanted to fill it. 

This led me to turn to mentors and to watch and learn from both good and bad examples. I’ve learned lessons the hard way over the past few years and thought it was time to bring a resource to the world for those starting young families. 

This is a book for the young man who has found himself with a heavy call of responsibility to be a leader for his family. 

The words in this book are a direct result of so many people who have poured countless hours into helping me become the man I am today. 

If I mention a mentor, I’ll be sure to link some of their resources as they have gone on to become pivotal leaders in the church, on college campuses and social media. I know how much their thoughts and words helped me, so I can only imagine how much they will help you. 

Ironically, I wouldn’t have married my wife if it wasn’t for my mentor, so let’s dive right in, shall we? He taught me a valuable lesson with a statement that felt more like a slap in the face at the time. 

When I met my wife, I wasn’t in a position to be dating. In fact, I had made some pretty crummy relationship decisions leading up to my first encounter with her. I remember some of the thoughts running through my mind when I’d think about even asking her if she wanted to date me and the fear I had of repeating bad habits that would ultimately push her away. 

Thankfully, I had a mentor in my life at the time named Ryan Knight. I talked to him about Aspyn and told him my fears and how I wasn’t even ready to be considering a relationship. He suggested I wait 3 months before pursuing her. At the time I thought it was because in 3 months, I’d be “ready” to lead her well and collect my thoughts. However, Ryan said something that stuck with me— “Hey, Lain… even after these 3 months you still won’t be “ready” and that’s okay.” At the time, that didn’t sit well. I thought he was questioning my character— turns out he was teaching me a truth. There was no magic number. I wasn’t going to just wake up one day and “be ready”. Instead, he reminded me that each day, my job was to wake up and be the best version of myself. 

On this side of eternity, being “ready” or having it all figured out is a wish— or a wing and a prayer. In other words, it’s just not gonna happen. It’s a mirage. 

But becoming the best version of yourself— now that’s a quality that just might be better than readiness. Why? Because it produces discipline and character. It’s more focused on who you’re becoming rather than a definitive moment. 

So was I ready to be married? Probably not. But because I was focused on becoming the best version of myself, I understood that not being ready allowed me to focus on learning. I was able to wake up every day with a curiosity and willingness to learn what to do and what not to do in order to serve Aspyn Lee. 

When you have a mindset of learning, you don’t mind failing. After all failure is just learning what not to do. (I learn what not to do all the time. Aspyn reminds me of it often 😉) 

Learning allows you to take marriage seriously but not have to take yourself too seriously. 

For example, you learn to laugh at yourself when your normal tendencies are actually a pet peeve for your wife. 

You learn to laugh at yourself when you order the wrong coffee order for your spouse and it becomes an opportunity to get it right the next time. 

On a more serious note, you learn to be patient and understanding with yourself as you learn to become patient and understanding with your wife.

I often have to remind myself that the strongest couple I know would say that they weren’t ready at the beginning. They were ready enough to commit to each other in a covenant marriage and their success is due to the constant decision of becoming the best versions of themselves. 

2 years after we got married, I had to remind myself that ready was merely a mirage as we saw the double blue line on the pregnancy test. 

Aspyn and I looked at each other after we shed some tears of joy and uttered “I don’t know if we’re ready for this…”

At first, you’re tempted to think that pregnancy takes about 9 months to you can be ready for the baby. It’s not about being ready, it’s about being prepared. 

Two very different things. 

Preparation is a process. 

I wasn’t ready to be a father in regard to crediblity. 

However, I was prepared. I had the diaper bags packed, a text thread giving my family and Aspyn’s family updates, I had gas in the car, the crib put together, and the nursery complete… but I still wasn’t ready. 

I wasn’t ready for the sleepless nights. 

I wasn’t ready for a feeling of responsibility nobody could prepare you for. 

I wasn’t ready for newborn cries around the clock. 

I wasn’t ready to have 2 changes of outfits at all times due to baby blowouts. 

I wasn’t ready for 3 AM disagreements (I mean conversations) with Aspyn about whose turn it was to go in and rock the baby. 

However, I was ready to learn– and it turns out, that’s even better. 

I promise you, for every Instagram family you find that’s so put together, you’ll find 100 families who are not… and if you want to know a crazy secret, that Instagram family isn’t all that put together & that’s okay. 

Stop trying to make your family perfect, when progress is the key. 

So, at this point, you might be thinking what credibility does this guy have to write a book about being a husband and father? He sounds like he’s still figuring it out. 

Bingo. 

That, my friend, is the only credibility I need. 

However, for those of you who are much more concerned with credibility than just a marriage license and a birth certificate, I’ve committed most of my adult life to marriage and family within the context of ministry and business. In other words, it’s what I do all day every day. 

I am the Co-Founder of Rally Family Branding. We take the same level of intentionality that a business professional would take to their approach to branding their business and apply it to something much more meaningful– the family unit. The man I co-founded this business with is named Josh Stewart. You’ll hear about him many times throughout this book because he has been kind enough to pour countless hours into me from mentor to mentee to friend and now co-owners in this journey to do something of utmost meaning with our time and expertise. 

I also have the honor and privilege of sitting under the apprenticeship of Ted Cunningham, a faithful man who has dedicated his life to marriage and family ministry, Lead Pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church. 

You’ve probably heard that it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert at something. Expert doesn’t mean perfect– it’s a quality of someone who is committed to a process. 

Whether you’re at hour one in your journey to become a father and/or husband who lives their life on purpose or you already have hundreds and thousands of hours under your belt, this book will be a defining moment for you. Not because I think there is something magic to the words in these pages. More so, because this book is your reminder that you’re 100% responsible for what you do with this information. There is no denying that you have a calling on your life to be faithful to your Lord, your spouse, and your kids. 

I was told a long time ago to be the Uncommon amongst the Uncommon. That’s what I’m calling you to right here, right now. 99% of men won’t even pick up this book. They will laugh and scoff and think it is below them. Be the 1% that leads your family like nobody else is willing to. 

If you don’t lead your family, the world will. I for one, refuse to let that happen. I will not stand by and watch other men and women assume responsibility for my family. You may not feel ready, but you’re as ready as you’ll ever be… and that’s all you need. Take responsibility. Take the step. 

You’ve got this. Your wife is counting on you. Your kids are looking up to you. Are you ready? Probably not… and remember, that is okay. ;)