Less is More
I found the difference between bend and break in 2023.
Hey guys, it’s me. 2023 was the best year to date for me personally… but it was also the most challenging by far. I don’t live with regret but I do enjoy looking back over the past 12 months to look at what I did well and the things I wish to improve.
You’ve probably heard it said, “Say no to good things so you can say yes to great things.” In 2023 I said yes to just about everything which caused me to realize that greatness is sacrificed when you fill your time with too many things. After all, there are only 24 hours in a day, and saying yes to certain things meant less time spent on the things that mattered most. But like I mentioned, I wouldn’t change a thing because I now know what matters most. I learned what has to give. I learned how far I can bend without breaking.
Because I’m both business-minded and creative, I started to create systems and processes for my life at the end of 2023 and I can’t wait for them to flow over into 2024.
Before I say yes to anything, I have 5 quick questions I ask myself before saying yes. There is no wiggle room here. If the answer is “no” to any 5 of the questions, my answer is “no” to the potential opportunity. Here are the five questions that I measure my time against:
Does this allow me to walk closer to the Lord?
Does this allow me to love my wife better?
Does this provide me with the opportunity to be a present father for Shep?
Does this contribute to me becoming the best version of myself?
Do I have the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual capacity right now?
In 2024 so far the McCanless family has decided to get insanely serious about how this plays out.
We’ve started a 24 hour Sabbath. We drew a line in the sand and have decided to push back against the narrative of hustle culture. Instead, to quote the late theologian, Eugene Peterson, we are setting up a pace of life so that we can “walk in the unforced rhythms of grace.”
From 4PM every Friday to 4PM Saturday, you will not be able to reach me. These 24 hours are intentionally carved out for things we were created to delight in… not things that control us.
I will probably write on this in a much bigger capacity in the near future, but for now, just know that I crave Fridays at 4PM. It’s become a mini holiday that we look forward to. These 24 hours are the fortress we use to recharge, refocus, and realign.
Here is a quick thought on each.
Does this allow me to walk closer to the Lord? This is perhaps the most important of the 5 questions because if I’m not walking close to the Lord than the other 4 are always going to be out of calibration. I also love the idea of walking with the Lord… not running, not hustling, not racing. It’s an active defiance against hustle culutre and the pace the world tries to set as their standard. The pace is going to feel slower than what you’re used to. You’ll be tempted to think that you can be accomplishing way more if you were to hurry rather than keep the pace. But again, it’s not about getting more done, it’s about getting closer to the Lord. You won’t find that if you’re in a dead sprint.
Does this allow me to love my wife better? Aspyn Lee is such a blessing in my life and if something takes my attention away from loving her, it’s not worth my time, energy or effort. To quote Jefferson Bethke, “My wife is the smoke alarm of our familiy"…” meaning she has an uncanny ability to sense burnout before I do. She knows the cadence we’re able to keep. She knows the difference between bend and break. I often don’t realize it until it’s too late. Therefore, I trust her voice. I trust her God given ability to keep our family on pace and protect the space that matters. Thank you, Aspyn Lee.
Does this provide me with the opportunity to be a present father for Shep? Because of how the Western culture is set up, dads on average get less than 4 hours a day with their kids. I’m living in the friction of trying to figure out how to disrupt that norm. I personally love my kiddo and want to spend as much time with him as possible. I have plenty of mentors and I have not once heard someone say, “I wish I would have spent less time with my kids.”
It always seems to be them quoting Kenny Chesney’s “Don’t Blink”, Trace Adkins “You’re Gonna Miss This” or Cory Asbury’s “These are the Days that You’ll Want Back”
So then the question becomes, How do I craft my life in such a way that I’m present for my kids in as many ways as possible as much as possible?
Does this contribute to me becoming the best version of myself? We all probably have ideas of the better versions of ourselves. It’s the version where you have a good head on your shoulders, you are loving, you are integerous, you are intentional, you are present, you are financially literate, you are patient, you are in good shape, etc. For me, just keeping that person in frame of mind helps act as a filter for whatever I am considering giving my time to. Some things are obvious, others are most subjective. Only you can decide if the decisions you make form you into a person you’re proud to become or if if you’re going to let that be decided for you by culture, lack of focus and discipline, or whatever the case may be. It’s not going to happen by accident. I can guarantee that.
Do I have the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual capacity right now? These are all sliding scales. Our church a year ago or so used the terminology “Check the Guages” — That’s all this is. Which tanks are running on low? What would it look like to refuel? Maybe it’s going for more walks. Maybe it’s taking your prayer time more serious. Maybe it’s seeing a therapist. Maybe it’s taking up a new hobby.
Check the Guages and Check them Often. Don’t wait until you’re running on empty. When you’re running on empty you’re desperate. Desperation leads people to do things their best self would never do.
So what does this look like in my own life? I take a look at my schedule and make sure to hold myself accountable with to the 5 questions above.
I view every week as an experiment on the journey to discovering the best version of myself and the man of God I am called to be.
Some weeks are better than others. There are variables. There are triumphs. There are failures. Most of all, there is grace— unforced rhytms of grace that I can always fall back into.
I hope you can too, friend.
