What I Never Knew I Always Wanted

“Little did I know, God was preparing me for the girl my heart longed for".”

I know you are probably thinking this is different than most of my other blog posts. But the reason I post is to share a piece of my life— a way for me to document my memories and experiences through the years. If I am speaking about memories and life lessons, especially during the most influential part of my life, perhaps I should share with you one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.

And before I go any further— Happy Birthday to the woman of my dreams. I love you, Aspyn Lee. You have my heart. I hope you have the best day ever!

For those of you who have been reading, at the end of the summer I wrote an entry titled, “A Summer of Restoration.” In this entry I talked about struggle and peace and forgiveness and redemption. I talked about how I believe that God was preparing me. I did not know what He was going to do in my life, but I knew He was and always is faithful. The entry ended with this,

“I have learned that God's timing is way better than mine. I have learned that sometimes the most peace waits on the other side of fear. I have learned that God is consistent in every circumstance.”

I learned a lot about myself that summer. While working at a summer camp, I saw one of my friends (Bb) from college post a picture about her younger sister being at college with her now. Though I knew nothing about her sister, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I even talked to one of my best friends and told him to be praying for me throughout the summer and to keep me accountable for not being stupid to rush into a relationship with her. But then again, I didn’t even know if I would have the opportunity to get to know her. I continued to follow the Lord’s plan for my life through the summer, and began to prepare myself for a relationship.

The summer wrapped up and I had talked to her for about 2 minutes total (even that is a generous estimation). I had pretty much lost hope at this point, but I still wanted to get to know her. She seemed like such an amazing girl. The first week of school, we were placed in the same group for an incoming student program. I was a senior leader, and she was an incoming freshman. I did my best to stay focused, but having her in my group was my favorite part of the week. The more I got to know her, the more I thought “she is so out of my league” (she was and still is…). I had the chance to bring her coffee and grab a conversation with her in the middle of the week; it was at that moment I knew I had fallen hard. (We ended up being so late to an event we were both supposed to be at, but that coffee and conversation changed my life haha).

It seemed like it happened overnight.

I love to journal, so as I was looking back through my entries it hit me: I was praying for my relationship with God. I was praying for His will. I was praying for His timing. I was preparing myself to be the diligent in my walk with Christ. I was preparing myself to be the best man I could be. I was praying for the girl the Lord would place in my life… I was praying for Aspyn Lee and I didn’t even know it.

From that day on, we hung out almost every day. Before long, I couldn’t even remember what life was like with her not by my side.

We made up our minds early in the relationship that our relationship would be built on the Lord, honesty, and trust. She probably gets tired of me asking her this, but I ask her, “Do I make you feel valued, respected, and loved?” If I ever fail to make her feel valued, respected, and loved then I have not done my part as her boyfriend.

Relationships are serious, and unfortunately our culture does not do a good job at presenting what a healthy and faithful relationship between a man and a woman look like.
I am okay with not having a relationship like anyone else. Relationships are supposed to be unique and intimate because both people involved are individuals with such original stories.

Yes, relationships are tough at some points, but they are also extremely rewarding. Most times people are quick to say, “my significant other completes me’”. Well, Aspyn and I do not complete each other. The Lord is the only One that can complete someone. Instead, I love saying that Aspyn and I compliment each other. That is how the Lord designed His creation. The Lord, Creator of all, created relationships to edify and compliment one another.

As mentioned earlier, I journal. I was reading over my writings the other day and happened to wonder what I would have written on Aspyn’s birthday (long before we started talking). My entry was a prayer— an honest prayer that said,

I just want to be honest… I desire a relationship— I desire someone. Not just anyone though, the right one… I’m ready for a best friend I can do ministry and life with. I am ready for a relationship filled with joy, encouragement , love, peace, patience, gentleness, respect for one another, service, and much more. I don’t want to rush things, but I can’t wait to start making memories with my future wife— all in God’s timing. God, You are above it all.

July 8, 2018

Little did I know, God was preparing me for the girl my heart longed for.

I am not going to claim that mine and Aspyn’s relationship is perfect, because no relationship is. However, we both value honesty and trust. I told Aspyn that I was committing to her— I want her on her best days, I want her on her worst. On the mountaintop, I want to smile and laugh with her. In the rough times, I want to walk through the valley with her. My pastor once said, “Learn to love the differences— and when you do that, you can love your significant other best.”

I took that wisdom to heart. I love learning new things about her. We are different in many ways, but by not trying to get the other person to change, it’s actually caused me to appreciate her more.

I might be biased, but nobody even compares to her. She is beautiful both inside and out.

her laugh, contagious

her smile, perfect

her eyes, i get lost every time

I could go on and on about her. Little kids are just drawn to her. She is a natural athlete, but also a leader on every team she’s ever been on. The way she values her family is moving. Her family is phenomenal. She is a great daughter, and a great sister. She’s the girl all of her friends go to when they need to talk because she’s a good listener.

I do not say this to make her feel good; I say it because I have the privilege of watching her live life to the fullest every single day.

Aspyn Lee,

I know I am not perfect—I know I will fall short at times. But I want to say thank you. Thank you, for making me a better man. Thank you for loving me and caring for me. Thank you for seeing the best in me, even when I cannot see it myself. We have already made the best memories together and every day seems to get better. Thank you for the way you love the Lord. Thank you for the way you treat others. You never cease to amaze me. I get to love you forever. Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl.

It is a privilege to love you, Your Man

Until next time,

-LM