5 Words that Shattered My Heart

“The Best Kind of Parent You Can Be Is One Who Leads By Example.”

Parents. Without them, we literally wouldn’t be here. They shape and mold our decisions, our identities, our goals, dreams and aspirations. They have the ability to build your character or to tear it down. They have the ability to instill values and morals or to let you seek immorality. They have the opportunity to guide or watch you wander. Parents play a key role in development. It’s their decision whether it will be good or bad.

For those of you who don’t know, I am a youth pastor. This week is vacation bible school.

For some children, this week is freedom.

For some, this week is the first time they have experienced care.

For some, this is the realization that they are safe.

For some, this is life-changing.

And as a youth pastor, I get the opportunity to play a part in a week of transformational growth and awakening in kids from Pre-K to High School.

The first night after the message of the two greatest commandments (Mark 10:32), I asked any kid who wanted to come forward, to find a leader and pray with them. Other adult leaders scattered all across the auditorium as kids came forward. I had about 5 kids come up to me.

I love the innocence of a child. Most of them offered prayer requests like, “Pray for my dog” or “Pray for my bird’s wing.” But I saw tears in one girl’s eyes. She looked at me and said, “I don’t know how to do that.” I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wanted to know more about Jesus and how He could save her.

I prayed for the kids and their pets (Yes, we prayed for dogs and birds and anything on those kid’s hearts because nothing is too big or small to be brought before God.)

After we prayed, I asked the sweet 9 year-old to come with my fiancé and I. We went over to the corner and talked about what it means to ask Jesus to save her. She understood and said, “Can I just do it right now then?” We prayed together as she folder her sweet, shaky hands. After she asked Jesus to be her Savior, my Fiancé looked in her watering eyes and said, “Sweet Girl, that is the best decision you will ever make.”

I told her she can tell everyone about the great news and her decision. She wanted to pray for her momma. I told her that we could, and afterwards she can go back home and pray for or with her mom. She looked at me and uttered the five words that shattered my heart.

“Momma ain’t the praying kind.”

Some people might think children are naive and don’t understand, but let me tell you there was nothing naive about that sweet girl’s heart. She had just experienced a love that she had never been shown before but knew her mom didn’t want anything to do with it.

Parents, if you’re reading this know a few things. Your kids will always assume the best about you. Social workers all around will tell you that in most scenarios the kids want the parents way more than the parents want their kids. That breaks my heart. I think that’s why Jesus was so intentional with little children in Scripture.

The disciples and crowds would try to scatter the children during Jesus’ teachings and instead He called them to Himself. He didn’t see them as bothersome, He saw them as His most perfect masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).

Why do you think God wanted us to be called His sons and daughters? I think for many reasons. Perhaps one reason would be for a kid to understand that if you are a child… especially a child of God that you are a prized possession.

Parents, you have approximately 18 years to make a lasting impact on your children. Don’t waste time trying to re-live your glory days through them. Do not put such a huge emphasis on things that don’t last. Find their passions and goals and be their greatest encourager. Guess what? You’re not done being a parent after they move off to college or even get married. It is true that your children never stop watching your example.

Choose to let your example be good; not bad.

What kind of parent do I want to be?

I want to be the parent that shows my kids the importance of loving Jesus more than anything. Then, I want my kids to know how much I love their momma. If I’m loving Aspyn Lee well, then I will be able to love them well. I want to encourage them in their adventures. When they find themselves in a valley, I won’t bail them out, but I will walk through it with them. When they’re on the mountaintop, I will rejoice with them. I want to be their rock, I want to be their confidant. I want to be their safe place. I want to be love. I want to be— the praying kind.

You are so loved! Until next time,

-LM